what to do?

[Anonymous]

Seriously, where are the moms of refluxers support groups??? I swear when we ever get through all this, I’m going to think about starting one around here.

[hellbennt]

naomi: I’ve thought of it…I even gave permission/told them at the ped GIs to give out my ph # to parents…

no one called me (what’s with that)

I hope you all can arrange ones by you!

[Anonymous]

Thank you again to everyone. Funny enough I am actually a leader of my churches moms group. We started because myself and two other ladies used to joke about how if we didn’t get help we were going to be on the news and in jail. The lady that was here today was one of those ladies. Luke and her son were both very hard babies to manage. The group seems to slowly be falling apart which is really sad. Hopefully after the holidays we will get back together. I have pm’d a lady on the baby wearing forum. i think I will have to try again though. I am trying, but with the holidays everyone seems to be busy.

I also gave my # to my sons peds office and told them to have others call me and noone did. It’s not like noone else at that office had babies with reflux. i found out later there is another lady at our church who had the same ped and they never gave her my number. I love trying to help other moms. At the moment though I don’t think I am in any shape to help anyone. How would you even go about starting a support group?

[Anonymous]

Shelby,

I am so so sorry you are having a hard time. Feel free to send me a private message anytime…and let me know if you learn anything about starting a support group. I would like to do so in my area (atlanta) too!

Johanna

[Anonymous]

I am reading this thread for the first time and feeling sad for all of you. Just remember you determine your self worth, and nobody else! You deserve support and help and I am sorry it is not there. I am feeling rather guilty right now and see how much worse things could have been.

My prayers are with all of you…… I hope, at least here, none of you feels alone……

[Anonymous]

shelby—-i really wasn’t yelling at you—-it never crossed my mind that it could come across that way. i was serious about renting a room for a while. i had a friend who said that sometimes she and her husband would get an overnight sitter and just spend the night in a hotel in town—–just to get away by themselves for a little while. overnight wouldn’t be the greatest idea for you, but a few hours might work. kevin and i have been through some rough times recently. we have had so many medical problems the last couple of years and it has been difficult to deal with it all—more so for kevin. we went to counseling together for a little while—nice guy, but not a good counselor for us. we have also been to some family counseling,(different counselor) which we just finished up, and i am going to counseling by myself.

a physical relationship is really an important part of a marriage. i know that sometimes i want sex just because i want to be with kevin, not because i am necessarily “in the mood”. despite all our troubles, and the times that i despise him—i am still madly in love with him—-and i bet you both feel the same—–it is just that sometimes stressfull things make us lose focus.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have anything constructive to add, I think that all of these wonderful ladies have already given you great advice. I just had to comment on the wanting to have sex every night like normal couples. Seriously, he thinks average people have sex every night? I can’t think of anyone I know who does that once they are past the newlywed stage, let alone people with young children that do it. That being said, Christine is right, intimacy is an important part of any relationship.

[Anonymous]

I laughed out loud when I first read your post b/c I was incredibly hungry at lunch today and my co workers were teasing me about being pregnant again. My first honest response was “I hope you all find God very soon because this would have to be an immaculate conception!” It is SOOOO hard to find time to be intimate and find the energy!

As I read further though, I realized that this isn’t a laughing matter for you (and others!) and I hope you are able to find some happiness soon. I am realizing very quickly how demanding motherhood can be…and adding a reflux baby to it all magnifies it 10 fold.

I agree with what the other moms have said. Try to find a babsitter. That may be the only way that you would feel comfortable giving DH the time he needs. (no screaming kids!) I am sorry to hear that your church group has fallen apart! I do hope you can reconnect and get some quality time for yourself too.

Hang in there! We will always be here for you…24/7…with reflux babies there’s bound to be one of us that’s awake at every hour of the day!

[Anonymous]

Shelby,

There’s a good chance that the mom’s church group will come back together after the holidays. I’ve seen this happen many times….people get so busy around the holidays that they let non-essential things go, but when the holidays are over they are ready to reconnect again. I hope that’s the way it turns out for you. Our mom’s group just doesn’t schedule any meetings from mid December until after New Year’s.

[Anonymous]

Oh, my gosh, I’m just reading this and REALLY feel for you. As I’ve said before, with the way Hailey’s first year has been and her still sleepless nights, an intimate relationship hasn’t really been a priority over here in our house. Thankfully (I guess?) dh is just as exhausted as I am. But, our marriage has really suffered because of it. After two years of putting the kids first and us last, our marriage has really taken the brunt of it, and we have lost a certain something that I don’t know we can ever get back. I have tried to convince him to go to counselling many times, and he refuses. He is very important to me, but we’re so lost in the thick of “life” that we’ve lost each other in the process of muddling through. I really hope that the rest of you find a way to make things work.

[Anonymous]

Why is being a mother so different from being a father? If I every go out and I stress ever…I do feed the girls first and if it is bedtime, I spend time putting them to sleep before I go out therefore most of the times I am late to everything! I run home in time for the next meal or bedtime since I know DH won’t be able to manage it and Tay will end up throwing up and being miserable for the rest of the night, and of course I would have to deal with it, since DH would be fast asleep! How is it possible for DH not to hear any of the kids crying at night? Like I say when if ever I go out, all I can think of is my babies! When DH goes out he doesn’t even call to check up on the kids and he stays out until 2 am, which is what he did last night! I know he works all day and only goes out with the guys once in awhile a lot less than before the kids, but I’m angry, jealous, since when is it ever my turn?! Thank goodness he doesn’t pester me with wanting to be intimate, he knows better from Alexis, things will definitely get better when Tay is a little older and eating issues are behind us. He will gladly take Alexis anywhere with him but refuses to take Tay, so I’m still stuck with 1 child!!! CALGON take me away!!! FAR FAR AWAY from reality!

[Anonymous]

HUGS to everyone!

[Anonymous]

I just wanted to let you all know things are going better around here. My friend that came over to help has also said she will watch the boys once a month for us so that we can get a date night. We went on our first date last night and it was great! I also have decided to make sure I am intiment with dh at least once a week, but hopefully more often. Justice will usually sleep at least 30 min in his own bed so I am going to take that time to make my hubby happy. Even if I don’t want to I am going to act like I do. I know he needs it.

[Anonymous]

It’s good to hear you sounding more positive and hopefull.

I hope the monthly date night helps improve things between the two of you.

You sure have a thoughtful and caring friend.

[Author]

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