there was a time (actually if i’m honest MANY TIMES), when i thought i would be skipping down the street with glee at the thought of weaning madelyn and getting off this crazy-train-diet. i had always planned on extended breastfeeding, but this was before this diet. when she was 5 weeks, i began this leg of our journey and now, with her basically 13 mos old, i think we’re almost at the end. one part of me is ready; the other is impossibly sad. i feel incredibly blessed to have been able to nurse her this long. riley wouldn’t nurse after 4-5 mos b/c he was in so much pain while eating and associated the pain with nursing. madelyn has only ever been in that much pain a handful of times, praise God.
it seems that she’s the one who is leading this wean. she nurses for shorter periods of time, and sometimes not at all, opting for solids. i thought i’d be happy…i am not. i am getting to a place of acceptance, but every step is acutely felt. how fitting it is to me that BF is an acronym not only for ‘breastfeeding’ but for ‘best friend’. my sweet sweet girl, my little buddy…
oh my little love, what a priviledge it has been to nourish your little body. every roll and crease has been caressed and admired, smooched and nibbled. in you and your brother, i have become what i was meant to be….a mommy, whose body was perfectly designed to love you and feed you. Thank you for allowing me this time, my maddie moo. until the end of this journey, until we start the next chapter…xoxo