So Exhausted

[Anonymous]

I need to vent. My daughter has been screaming for 3 hours and my son just screamed at me and then pushed me when I asked him to go into time out. I haven’t had more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep for over 2 months. My husband leaves at 7am and doesn’t get home until 7pm. Later some nights. My family lives hours away and I feel like I have no support. My baby is always unhappy because of tummy issues and nothing works to soothe her. The same thing happened with my son and it didn’t get better for 6 months. Can’t believe it is going to happen again…with a toddler. I know I am complaining and should be happy I am blessed with my health and 2 children. Just so tired mentally and physically. Any words of wisdom out there to help me get through this?

[Anonymous]

Hang in there! It is so hard at the point you are at, but it will get better. I had to smile when you said that your son yelled at you and pushed you away when you told him to go to time out. You should have been here at 11 pm last night when I was being yelled at for asking him to go to sleep for 3 hours. It was like a bad comedy and I was at a total loss what to do! Anyway, just wanted you to know you are not alone, and you deserve to pat yourself on the back because doing it alone is very difficult as well.

Is your baby on meds? Maybe an increase would help? What formula or is your baby BF? Sorry that I don’t remember if you have answered these questions before…..

Can you do a “mother’s helper”? Like an 11 or 12 year old girl from a local school that can come for a couple of hours after school. We haven’t done it, but know people who have and it can be a ton of help. Even if they just take your 3 year old outside for a walk, or ride a bike, or something so that you can take a few minutes with just the baby? Or how about babywearing? Laura can give you some GREAT info on that and it might help as well.

I hope others will have better advice, I don’t feel like I am being much help. But please know we are all here to help you through this and have been at a total loss and sleep deprived at one time or another, and it will get better.

Hang in there!!!

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain and the best thing I can say to you is it will get better. I went through the same situation and DH was out of town a lot in my situation so it was rough for awhile.

I would also say do you have neighbors or work friends or anyone you trust that you could ask for someone to stay with baby while you spent alone time with the older one. It would be good for both of you! I cried so much at work with everything that we were going through, people were begging to come over to help and I just said no I can do it! TAKE ANY HELP YOU CAN GET!

It is harder with a second one! My son was stuttering, yelling, pushing and just difficult! I really let him watch TV a lot to give him and me a break. It really didn’t hurt him– yes he likes TV more now than before, but he’s not addicted! Sometimes I had to just put the baby down and take my older one outside for 5 minutes- even if little one was screaming in the swing! It’s just hard!

Hugs to you!

[Anonymous]

***HUGS*** I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know how you feel. My little one does not sleep and she is so uncomforable. Her tummy hurts and she can’t lay down to sleep. Hubby works a lot so he can’t really give me a break and there really isn’t anyone we trust to leave her with for more than just a few minutes. Hopefully things will get easier for you soon!

Cherie

[Anonymous]

Big Hug to you. I understand about sleep. Most nights we get a good 3 hr stretch when he goes down, but I can’t get settled to sleep for at least 90 mins after he goes down and then my longest stretch until he wakes up again is at most 2.5hrs, so I feel your pain. I couldn’t imagine having another one at home to deal with. I at least get to try and nap when he naps, which haven’t been good lately, but anyway. I just keep telling myself he will sleep better one day… hopefully sooner than later.

[Anonymous]

Ugh! I’m so sorry that you are dealing with all of this right now. I totally remember those early days when I was fighting the urge to just get in the car and drive away because it was just too much to handle. Having two only makes it more difficult because you not only have to deal with a hurting infant, you also have to deal with a toddler who wants your attention and the guilt you suffer from when you can’t give it to him/her.

My advice is to do whatever it takes… plop the toddler in front of a video. Get outside if at all possible. That always seemed to help for some reason. Accept help from any and all sources. I was SO bad about this, and now I totally regret it. I thought I could handle it, and it was really unhealthy of me not to get more help.

I would also look into your LO’s medication too, as Ann Marie suggested, just to be sure that she is as comfortable as possible.

Hang in there!

Also, I know you probably feel like you don’t have a spare minute to do it, but I wish I would have taken just a few minutes a day to jot down what was going on in a journal. I think doing that would help to get your frustrations/feelings out, but it would also help you see, in a very visible way, when things start to get better. AND THEY WILL

[Anonymous]

Vent away, vent away. That is what we are here for. We know and understand how you are feeling. No need to apologize for your feelings. We have all been there. It is hard to live life when you have a baby screaming.

As the other moms said I would look into the med situation. Check out marci-kids.com to see if your baby is on the correct dose of meds. Is your baby on a ppi like prevacid, prilosec, or zegerid? If not then I would look into those as an option. I could be wrong here, but I think if your baby was on the correct meds, right dose, it was given properly, no allergies, and no other problems then your baby should not be in pain. I won’t promise sleep, but at least not the pain. Again, that is just my opinion. I hope things are better soon, but in the mean time we are here for you. I actually got to the point where I didn’t vent anywhere but here. Noone else could understand what we were going through except the ladies here. My husband told me one day he was sick of hearing me complain about it. So, I got on the computer and found this site and have been here since. Thanks again ladies.

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much mommies!! I cried for three hours yesterday. Hearing all your thoughts really helped me realize I am not alone. My dh came home early from work yesterday which was soooo great. I made a point to get out of the house for an hour and take a jog. It felt so good.

My dd is on 3/4 of a 15mg of Prevacid solutabs (she is 9.4lbs). I swear sometimes that is what makes her so cranky and gassy. The feeding I give it in the morning, she is the most fussy after. She use to be on Axid. I’m probably wrong.

[Anonymous]

You may be right. Solutabs have been great for a lot of babies here, but we, unfortunately, did not have success with it with either of the boys. It made them fussier, crankier, and just miserable. I think it might have been the lactose and/or aspertime in them, but again, a lot of people have success with them.

Also, are you only giving the med once a day? Maybe splitting the dose might help? Also, I think (help other moms!) that this method has to be given on an empty stomach and followed up with a feed 30 minutes later to have the maximum effect? Other moms will chime in and help, but I think that is the case with the solutabs….

Hang in there! So glad you got out for a jog! If your husband can try to come home early once a week, that will at least be a little somethign to look forward to!

[Anonymous]

You certainly are not alone! I remember those days… oh, the horror. I think I’ve tried to block most of it from memory, really. It’s really hard, but it does get easier. If there is anyone at all who can watch the baby for a little while, I would take them up on the offer as well. I was never willing b/c I thought that no one could handle her crying so much. But I think that was a mistake. Hang in there. HUGS.

[Anonymous]

HUGS!

Hang in there!!!!!. I was in your footsteps and I am still there. My refluxer is now 3 months and is on Nexium twice a day with a total of 20mg, but i think that it might need increased here shortly because of weight gain, and some reflux sytems are starting to return. My husbann has was gone by 6am ans did not return til 6p or later due to his job. I had to take my 2 year old to daycare so that I could get a llittle less stress. THis site has helped me alot because I realize that I am not the only one going thru this. Good Luck

ALso my daught was on prevacid 30mg , but at first no one told me that you had to wait 20-30 min before feeding after I started doing this I noticed a improvement, but shortly after we went to Nexium, THis site was the I one that I realized that I need to wait 20 before feeding

[hellbennt]

wear that baby & take the toddler for a walk

not a bjorn or a snugli but a wrap, sling, pouch or mei tai

What is this gobbelty gook I’m typing at you?

Babywearing: https://www.infantreflux.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1044&PN=1

SAVED me. saved a lot of us!

hellbennt2007-09-06 22:12:02

[Author]

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