new here…just need to let it out.

[Anonymous]

I’m a first time mommy. My 6 week old daughter has spent her entire life in what looks to me like agony b/c of the reflux. We have just entered the process of figuring out how to treat it – we tried diet changes for me and Zantac (made it worse), and she’s on Prevacid now (just 3 doses in so no changes yet although we think it’s constipating her). She rarely sleeps for more than a quick catnap and has to be held all the time to get any comfort from the reflux pain/gagging (keeps her upright and we think it just soothes her a bit too). We are so happy to hold her all the time but we both have jobs, so it’s obviously difficult to give her what she needs without completely stressing ourselves out! We both feel bad even thinking in terms of our jobs or our own physical well-being (like the fact that we are obviously completely sleep deprived), so there’s a lot of guilt. She spent the entire day today screaming, and I have to admit I just held her and cried along with her, which is kind of becoming a pattern. We are so worried about her emotional well being in addition to her physical health – she is listless when she isn’t hurting. I know babies outgrow this, but I feel so cheated that I am wishing away her early weeks in the hopes that she will get older faster and she will not be in pain (and admittedly, I will get some sleep). I want to cherish these days and I just can’t. I am losing my mind b/c I really can’t get out of the house except to go to work, so my whole life is working and then sitting up with my daughter. Then I feel guilty even thinking about my own misery when my daughter is hurting. I am not normally a whiner at all, I swear. I hate boring my friends with my complaints so I hope y’all don’t mind that I am boring you with them instead. Somehow it feels good just to put it out there.

[Anonymous]

I does feel good to let it out doesn’t it???

Don’t feel bad about this at all. We never had any where near a normal baby hood with Jedd. Let me just tell you, the toddler years are SOOOOO SOOOOOO much better…LOL

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I promise.

It will take a bit for the med to kick in but once it does things should get better.

And don’t feel bad for wanting THIS time to go by faster. I’m sure glad Jedd’s went by fast. His infancy to about 18 months was shear hell that I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy.

I have come full circle that I completely have accepted the fact that we didn’t get a “babyhood” with Jedd. You go through all the steps for grieving BTW and it’s not easy. Crying, anger, ticked off, crying AGAIN….

I cried ALOT and I mean ALOT. Jedd went through more than just GERD though, so we had multiple issues compounding the GERD.

You will wkae up one morning when all this is gone and realize that you are IN the best time of your baby’s life and will throughly enjoy it, we did.

[Anonymous]

Just a few little tips in regards to the medicine. Are you giving the prevacid on an empty stomach and following with a meal 30-60 min later? most docs don’t tell you to do this. Also even though the Zantac didn’t work you may want to continue it for the first 2wks of being on prevacid or it is like she is on no medicine at all. You can also give Cherry Mylanta supreme or any antiacid that doesn’t have aluminum in it. Make sure you space the prevacid and zantac 4hrs apart as it won’t work if you give them closer. Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness… dont feel guilty… early motherhood is tough with the easiest of babies and we all understand how your feeling as the mum of a bub with reflux…. i cried ALL the time too…and completely understand when you say ‘your losing your mind’ i just love my little boy sooo much and cant stand to see him upset, and not being able to enjoy our time together either…. i too feel like aprisoner alot of the time, not going out much and doing normal motherly things like playgroup or mothers group… but once i came to the realisation that i cant change Felix or make him grow up quicker, and just accept that this wont last forever and there is a light at the end of the tunnel i am coping much better…. but your bubs is still so little so its only normal that you dont feel this way just yet… but keep strong cos you will get through it.

I really dont think anyone who hasnt been through this really understands so i kind of stopped telling many people all the sh*tty details cos theyr responses just upset me too much… i keep it all close to home, mum, husband, mother-in-law, best friend. I just had enough of being treated like and over-anxious mother… and these few people know me well enough to know better. I found it helpful to keep a diary… putting my feelings on paper, and sometimes when im having a bad day i can see that once… things were worse and i can see the light again. Also make notes on any improvements or the opposite so you can report to your Dr if you thinkk the meds are working.

Keep strong…. hav faith… things will improve.

Aleshia

[Anonymous]

In many ways you could be describing our experience with Kaelyn. She was so miserable and we just felt awful that we couldn’t do more for her. We often felt like we were wishing away the first part of her life. Honestly, her first 7 or 8 months are a total blur. We didn’t discover her food allergies until she was 16 months old. I think she would have shown improvement faster if we’d known about her allergies. She was on a milk based formula (Nutramigen, so it was broken down, but still milk), eating oatmeal (which is often wheat contaminated) and one of her first foods was applesauce. So, we were unknowingly contributing to the problem.

What form of prevacid is she on? The solutabs have lactose in them which can cause issues for some babies.

Mylanta Cherry Supreme (or any aluminum free antacid) can help provide some comfort and resolve any constipation issues. We gave Kaelyn 1/2 to 1 ml with every feeding except the one right after her prevacid. It seemed to help a little bit and it definitely kept her stools loose.

Good luck! I promise that it does get better. Both of my girls have fully recovered from their reflux and are happy, healthy, independent little girls. Honestly, I haven’t seen any emotional impact from their battles with reflux.

[hellbennt]

I.Totally.Relate.

I held my baby so much that i REALLY got into babywearing, LOL! more from link below…

and I also CRIED with my baby!!!!

hi & welcome!

I have a LOT to say & (most of) it’s here:

J

Groupie Intro: my intro: https://www.infantreflux.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=853&PN=1&TPN=1

Please PLEASE take the time to read/scroll/skim through the info from this link, as it truly will help you!

so glad you found us!

~laura

[Anonymous]

thanks everybody…y’all have given me a lot to look through and think about! the support is so important…

[Author]

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