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Hi Beth
,Your post reminds me so much of ME with Kaden. He was so colicky. Actually, looking back I realize he was a reflux baby that was never diagnosed and I didn’t know better. He is now a very poor eater as a toddler b/c of it and has problems with food textures etc. Enough about that though. I never went anywhere with him in fear he would just scream. I stayed in my entire maternity leave b/c I was afraid to go out. After he was 3 months old and still miserable, my husband said enough is enough. I was only making things bad for us (we never ate out as a family) and only depriving Kaden from seeing the world around him. I realized he was calm in the mall. He liked stroller rides, etc. I also realized that if he cried, so what! If people stare, let them.
I’m willing to bet they’ve had a fussy baby before and most of the time they are staring to catch a peek at the baby, not b/c the baby is actually crying. I SO know how you feel. I take both of my kids everywhere now. Have you gotten a sling or carrier yet? I wear Landen and Kaden either walks or rides on my sit n stand stroller. 
If my kids fuss I just take a deep breath. Being a mommy can be rough, but it’s harder if your in the house all of the time.I hope you get out soon and are feeling better. *hugs*
Beth,
I remember those days with Hailey and remember the feelings of isolation. I felt like I couldn’t take her anywhere b/c she would scream nonstop and vomit all over the place. I felt so alone. In retrospect, I really would have done things differently. I think locking myself in the house wasn’t good for myself or Hailey. I don’t know where you live, or what the weather’s like, but if it’s nice out, I would plop him in the stroller and go for a walk, or plunk him in a carrier and take him out that way. With my first daughter, I did tons of classes- baby fitness, music, moms and tots, mother goose…. there are so many public classes. I really wouldn’t worry about the spitting- plop a bib on him and bring a cloth to wipe it up- lots of babies spit up or have poo blowouts at these things. When Sarah was a baby, I had a friend who had a projectile puker (a happy puker) and I never thought twice about it- we would just put a blanket on the floor and change it when he spit. A really good class was strollerfitness- you can put him in the stroller and get out and meet other moms, and it’s outdoors so it doesn’t matter if they puke or not. The babies usually love the movement and fall asleep which also gives you a break. I know it’s easier said than done- I didn’t get out much with Hailey, like I said (other than her appointments and therapies), and really wish in retrospect that I would have done things differently. If you really don’t feel that you can get out with Cooper, is there a good friend that can come by and spend some time with you at home, or even someone that can watch him for half an hour while you get some time for yourself? The isolation really makes things hard. HUGS.
BTW, when dh gets back, I’d try to get a weekend away as payback!
s&h’s mum2007-5-28 13:40:40
Oh Beth I know exactly how you feel! I often refer to last summer as my time spent in “jail”. I didn’t go ANYWHERE with Sarah because she screamed when she started to get tired and I knew we had to run home to swaddle her tightly and do our whole sleep routine. It was awful. She hated the car also which made long trips impossible. My best friend had a baby 7 weeks after Sarah and they were able to go everywhere and do everything b/c her DD never screamed, never spit up, and slept anywhere, anytime. I was sooooooo envious!
Sarah and I did take lots of walks around the neighborhood, which helped both me and her. A lot of people always suggested getting a babysitter for a few hours so I COULD have my alone adult time…but what people didn’t realize was that I didn’t want to have anyone else babysit! Why would anyone (other than her loving parents) want to be around a baby who screamed non stop? Because of those feelings, I rarely had extended family, friends watch her and now I regret that.
Sooooooooo, I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here. I DON’T regret keeping Sarah at home because it really wasn’t worth the trouble of hearing her scream in public. However, I do wish that I would have taken advantage of family, friends, church community, and neighbors to help out during those tough times. I hope you are able to find some support and help! I always feel SOOO guilty when I “dread” having to be alone with Sarah. It is DEFINITELY easier now, but those feelings still come back sometimes.
I hope I’m not alone in feeling like that!Good luck and hang in there!!!
We do go for walks daily, but usually not until later in the evening b/c of the sun. We have a back porch which he loves to be on, however the pollen is horrible in VA this time of year and I just can’t stand to have him out there for too long. Thanks for all of the support ladies. I know I need to just go and do, but he doesn’t sleep well unless he is in his crib and I have to feed him so often (7-8x/day) that I can’t ever find the right time to go and do things. If I really have to go and do something then I go… but I don’t usually enjoy myself. I know things could be so much worse and I am thankful that he is as happy as he is the majority of the time. My friend just had a baby last week, so hopefully soon I’ll be able to go and see her and we can take them for walks together. Thanks again for all the hugs and sympathy…
Beth,
Where in VA are you? I live in Northern Virginia, and I agree, the pollen is terrible!
You know I was the same way with Brianna for a while, not wanting to go anywhere for fear of messing up her sleeping, or her getting fussy, or just whatever. I did end up joining this mom’s group at my chuch and that is when I saw that a LOT of babies have reflux or are “colicky” but no one was mean about it…people just wanted to help the mother out. Do you have a church or community center where maybe you could find a mom’s group? I was just talking with DH today about if we have another, I will be very different,a nd I won’t stay confined to the house. I hope you are able to get out soon!go find your local babywearing group! they sure don’t mind a screaming baby! they will jump all over the chance to help you out & help you find a carrier/positions to get him happier
– email whoever is closest to you and tell them hellbent sent you
– they probably will recognize me from TBW (http://www.thebabywearer.com/forum) LOLVIRGINIA Central VA Leaders: Vijay Owens and Kristen Gallagher
Yahoo Group: Central VA NINODC Metro area Leaders: Aneliese Carino & Gretchen Otto Pimentel
Yahoo Group: NINO_DC-MD-VADelMarVa Area Leader: Karen Tuscano
Yahoo Group: NINO DelMarVaHampton Roads Leaders: Sarah Young and Sherry Wolfe hellbennt2007-5-28 16:12:23
I’m in VA too – the Richmond area. If you’re anywhere nearby, I’ll gladly join you on some of your excursions. I’ve lived through it with two of my own, very little bothers me now.
Oh, and mum4boys, I see you had a girl for number 5…
We have had 3 biological boys and adopted a girl from China.
I always wonder if we would eventually have a girl, but I don’t think we can handle any more reflux/colic!
Congratulations on your baby girl
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