Daycare is not going well!!!

[Anonymous]

Morning! I posted a message last week about my 4 month old, Sarah, starting daycare and how nervous I was about it. We started her on Zegerid about 2 weeks ago and have seen GREAT improvement. Some days are better than others, but it is still MUCH better than it was.

Her first day with the sitter was last Wednesday. I went to pick her up only to find out that she screamed hysterically all day and refused to eat. She only took 6oz in the 8 hours she was there. I was so devastated when I heard all this. I was bawling so hard I could barely hold a conversation with the sitter. Apparently, Sarah was scared of the other kids running around. She was EASILY startled and would go into an inconsolable crying fit. My worst fear was realized…I think Sarah has some sensory issues. I had a feeling this might be the case but I was hopeful that starting on the right dose of meds would make it all work itself out. My sitter has as many as 8 kids on some days. Most of them are 2-5 year olds with only one other baby.

The sitter said she had to keep Sarah upstairs away from everyone else and that the only thing that would calm her down was to be swaddled (which we still have to do to help her sleep). I spent the entire night on the phone desperately trying to find someone else that could watch Sarah…no luck. Her 2nd day with the sitter was a huge improvement but she still became startled easily and would only eat 8oz.

My mom had to watch her Friday b/c the sitter couldn’t and now she’s had the weekend at home with us. I’m DREADING taking her back to daycare tomorrow after having 3 days at home with us.

Before I knew that Sarah was going to act this way at daycare I decided to start her on Alimentum just to see if there were some protein issues. She’s had to take it gradually mixed with her other formula (she hated the taste!) and today will be her first day of ALL Alimentum. How long before I might see results after she’s on all new stuff?

Does anyone else have a kiddo that has some “sensory type” issues related to/or caused by their reflux? I’m at a loss for how to help her. I feel like being in a busy environment is the best way to help her…she HAS to get used to it! I don’t want to keep her sheltered her whole life. BUT I also don’t want her to be miserable at daycare. It’s not fair to her, the sitter or the other kids.

My heart is so heavy about all of this. I was concerned that Sarah’s falling asleep issues would be the problem at daycare…I NEVER NEVER NEVER imagined that she would be scared by the other kids running around. She’s typically so alert I figured she’s LOVE to watch them…NOPE!!

Any suggestions at all would be appreciated!

Amy

[Anonymous]

I always post about my biggest fear for reflux babies is that they will be shaken by a babysitter. Reflux babies are at a higher risk to be shaken than normal babies because they cry so much. I wish you had a family member who could watch her. We don’t get out much because Colton can’t be left with a babysitter. Sorry to say but it can take two weeks and sometimes a month to see a difference with formula. Is there anyone in your area with a smaller amount of kids? I really needed to go back to work after having Colton but with his issues we knew there would be no way for us to do that. I wish you the best of luck. I just don’t have all the answer and I wish I did. One other thing that isn’t good that she is going that long and only eating that much. I will bet deep down she is hungry but scared to eat. I would ask the sitter to work a little harder to get her to eat a little more.

[Anonymous]

Sorry things got off to such a rough start. Six 2-5 year olds running around can be pretty over whelming for a new baby who’s used to being home alone with just mommy all day. Is there a way you can ease her into a little more gradually? Can you work part time for a week or two, or have someone else watch her 1/2 a day for a week or two? She may be able to adapt with some gradual desensitization.

Also, could the issue with her not eating well at daycare be that she was getting used to the tase of the Alimentum? Maybe the sitter will have an easier time feeding her once she has adapted to the taste of the Alimentum.

As for how long it takes to see a difference, most moms here say it takes about two weeks.

I’m not sure about the sensory issues. Some babies are more sensitive to noise and stimulation than others, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they have any sensory issues.

Good luck. I hope things improve and she adapts to her daycare or you can find another sitter for her.

[hellbennt]

ok, everyone here probably wants me to shush up already about babywearing…

but is there anyway the sitter could wear her so that she’d be 1) held and 2) the sitter could go about helping w/ the other kids?

the sitter would have to be pretty open-minded…

the easiest carrier would be a pouch- the only thing with a pouch is you need an exact fit- so an adjustable pouch would be the best thing…if your sitter is open to anything else, I have quite the list of what to use to carry your baby…

[Anonymous]

Oh wow, Amy, not quite sure what to say on this one. Abby was lucky enough (I suppose you can say that) to have started daycare at 2 months. A 4 month old could be a different story as they are so much further along developmentally and the whole stranger anxiety thing may be starting to set in. What did the daycare lady have to say about the situation – was she upset about it or did she have any ideas? I certainly wouldn’t give up after only a couple of days. It just may take a little while for her to get used to the daycare setting. I definitely agree with Laura about trying the babywearing. My sitter did that with Abby and it worked really well. I know it is extremely difficult leaving your little one somewhere and I really hope it will work out for you – keeping my fingers and toes crossed!!

How is the Zegerid working out for her?

Robin

[hellbennt]

Robin, could you post more about the babywearing sitter? (maybe somewhere else? or here…)

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies. Sarah’s first day of daycare she was still on the old formula. We didn’t start Alimentum until that evening when she came home. Unfortunately I think she was too scared and overwhelmed to eat.

I am a teacher so working part time for a few weeks isn’t really an option. I used up all of my sick days so I could stay home with Sarah after having her last April. I have 13 more to start off this year but I want to save them for illness (Sarah or myself) and eventually for baby #2.

I have asked around and I do have a few options for daycare but I am waiting to hear back from them. My most promising option won’t be able to start for another month b/c she’s finishing an office job maternity leave. My mom lives an hour 15 min away. She is able to watch Sarah in a pinch but it’s not an everyday possibility …unfortunately!

I feel confident in the person who is watching her right now. I know that she doesn’t get frustrated by Sarah’s crying and she would never hurt her. It IS a big concern though when I take ‘recommendations’ from other people about new sitters! It’s scary to think about! I know reflux babies are more likely to be shaken.

My current sitter has already mentioned a few times (even after just 2 days) having us look into other daycare options!! I think she realizes she can’t tend to Sarah’s needs with so many other kiddos running around. I will be making more phone calls tomorrow to see if anyone would be able to take Sarah sooner. There is a highly recommended daycare facility nearby that I’m going to call. I’m hopeful that they keep the babies and bigger kids separate. They also work really well with teacher’s schedules…thankfully. Most facilities aren’t lenient about the holidays and summers and you have to pay for all of those days!

I will give the Alimentum two more weeks and we’ll see where we are at from there. I was hopeful it wouldn’t take that long but I understand it takes some time. Is it possible that the Alimentum could be making her feel worse? More gassy maybe?

The Zegerid is working pretty well. I remember reading on here about “break through” symptoms after a few days/weeks of being on it. Maybe that would explain Sarah’s fussiness the past 2 days. I wouldn’t think her dose would need to be increased ALREADY, but you never know! What is the information on that?

Thanks for the support ladies!
Amy

[Anonymous]

Hi Amy
Just an idea – could you put an ad in the paper for a sitter who has experience with special needs kids? Maybe even have someone come to your house to watch her so she’d be in an environment she’s used to. I know you were worried about her being isolated, but she’s still pretty little, so I don’t think it’d be too much of an issue right now. Anyway, just an idea. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry that Sarah’s having such a hard time. Unfortunately, I really think that adjusting to daycare can take a month or more for most kids. I like the babywearing idea, but do think that looking into other options will be a good idea if your provider is already suggesting this. Hailey also has sensory issues from her reflux, and it has taken a lot of time to see some improvements, and we’re still not perfect. It used to be so bad that we could barely leave the house. Good luck. Hope it gets better soon.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Do you know is she was laying down when she was crying all day? When Seth first started daycare, we had to get a note from the ped. saying it was ok for him to sleep in the swing and bouncey (here in GA, there is some sort of daycare regulation as to how long they can stay in them). It definitely helped to have him upright most of the day. We also sent in a wedge for his crib. I do think it is a good idea to try to find a daycare where she will just be with other infants her own age. Is there anyway your mom can just come stay for a week until you can find a better arrangement?

The Alimentum was a lifesaver for us. I can’t remember how long it took to see a difference though.

Hang in there and hope you can find something that will work out for you!

[Anonymous]

wow, tiffany, I’m also in ga and never knew about the swing/bouncy thing..interesting…Aidan goes to a church daycare, not a public one so maybe that’s why they didn’t have us sign one…

[Anonymous]

I’m suprised that noone else has said their baby has the same startling issues. Both of my reflux babies startled really easy. With my youngest baby all you have to do is talk to him when he’s not expecting it and he gets scared and sometimes starts crying uncontrolably. My friends reflux baby also has the same issues. They eventually grow out of it. Of course, your baby could be different. I don’t want to give you false hope, but also don’t want you to worry about it.

I have no good ideas about daycare. God has blessed us that I can stay at home with my 2. Well, I take that back, what about a nanny? Could you look into hiring an experienced nanny? I don’t know about your area, but where I live we have nanny agencies. I used to work for one. They do extensive background checks. If you had a nanny your little one could be at home where she is most comfortable. I know it would probably be more money, but at least you might feel better about it.

Shelby

[Anonymous]

If older kids startle her than the regular daycare center is probably a better option. Is your sitter alone with 6 to 8 kids at a time? No matter how good she is, that’s really hard. Laura’s babywearing idea could work really well in that situation.

Centers have to follow state guidelines. Most states only allow a 4 to 1 or 3 to 1 ratio. So, they try not to mix older kids with the babies because the older kids have higher ratios. (This is one of the few times when the fact that centers are always trying to profit comes in handy.)

Good luck! I’m also a teacher and I used all my sick time and got docked some days when I was on bedrest and then delivered Alex, so I totally understand the difficulty in trying to save your days.

[Author]

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