Your description sounds exactly like my son, except my son is now 6 months old, but unfortunately still dealing with the same issues. I wish I had some magic answers for you, but I don’t. I more just wanted to sympathize. I have a few thoughts for you though:
1) Medicines – If you haven’t already, calculate the dosage of the Zantac yourself because it is very weight dependent and you can’t trust pediatricians to do it right. If the Zantac is still not working, see if you can get an appointment with a pediatric GI doc, who will hopefully be more helpful and possibly recommend a PPI (like Prevacid or Zegerid) which is much more effective than Zantac.
2) My son is also an EXTREME comfort feeder. Unfortunately, many doctors look at him and say “He’s gaining weight so well, He’s fine.” They discount the misery he goes through daily. Anyway, it’s a vicious cycle because you want to make him happy by feeding him, but then feeding him often makes him produce more acid which fuels the reflux. I’ve found lately that when he’s begging to be fed, but I know he’s not really hungry, I can give him water instead and he’s happy with it. Water does not signal acid production in the stomach. Not sure about your son, but mine is quite chunky so I have no fear of underfeeding him.
3) Also, as he gets a little older he might learn how to self soothe better with a thumb or in my son’s case, his entire hand. We tried REALLY hard to get him to take the pacifier…but no luck here.
4) I’m sure you’ve read to keep him upright for a good while after he’s been fed. Again, I found this to be nearly impossible with my little comfort feeder because he is ALWAYS eating. It is the only thing that soothes him when he’s screaming.
5) You didn’t mention what he eats. If formula, have you considered a change? If breastfed, have you considered MSPI or another intolerance?
6) Sleep – Ugh…my son still wakes hourly at night. I have no answers for you…
Good luck, and if I think of anything else, I’ll let you know.
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