So tired of this

Lisa, I’m so sorry it’s been so hard. I’ve had my moments where I’ve screamed and scared my kids because of the H*LL that reflux makes out of your life. I also have marital problems (“problem” is putting it lightly really). Many times I have felt that I have been given more than I can bear. But we really are stronger than we think. And things do get easier with time.

It sounds like you really need a break. Is there anybody that you can trust to take care of your little ones to give you a break once in a while? Even a short time away really makes a big difference in how you feel.

Also, someone to talk to…like a counselor to help you with the stress would be very helpful. Believe me I’d be RUNNING to a counselor if there was any way I could get to one without bringing all three of my children with me. (I have no one to babysit and my husband is not willing to let me out of the house except on RARE ocassions).

Does Noah accept spoon feedings at all? Myles has pretty much given up the bottle and is spoon fed mostly. It’s weird with him being so young, but it’s working and that’s what matters.

Well, I’ve got to go. DH doesn’t want to take care of the kids (what else is knew?). Please email me if you’d like someone to “chat” with. I know what it’s like to be in this mess, as we all do here.

[email protected]

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Christine

Oh Lisa! Hang in there. I know easier said then done. I sometimes feel the same way-slave to feeding. I agree-anyone that you can get to takeover for a few hours and recharge?

Just know you are totally human! Not many people could take what you’re going through right now and just remind yourself how lucky Noah is to have a loving mother who does so much to make him thrive and comfortable.

Tracy (Ian’s Mom 9-26-05) Elecare and Prevacid

Lisa

I was running before and thought maybe you do not feel like talking right now in the middle of your problems… i just wanted to take some time to say how sorry i am that you are going through this and all the other problems that you are having at the same time.

About the feedings – i know that it solves ntohing but i wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It helps me to know that there are other people out there that are going through the same things that i am going through. You have to have been there to understand the frustration, the fear, the disappointment and yet to keep loving and loving… all those feelings just take you over and you know what, it is OK to shout from time to time. It is not going to harm him and god knows i have done it. Unfortunately, i was never the most patient person to begin with and really, it had been a long time since i had taken some time off from work to just take a look at life… and i am learning so many new things… it is learning the hard way and it has taken me some time to adjust but i am getting there. It has been through the support of many people, some friends and others through this forum and the other one. I have also learned that i am so lucky to have Matthew, so lucky that he is healthy and so sad that he is sick… and i guess that you have to tell yourself sometimes that Noah is SICK?? It helps me – if Matthew could I am sure he would eat but he is not able to. I think well what if he were not able to walk, but i be shouting at him for not walking?? No and therefore i do view the whole thing as a (hopefully) temporary thing and he is going to get better and we will get there. And also reminding myself that i am so proud of him… he hates eating, he hates seating down in his chair and yet every feeding i know he gives me his best shot at eating and it breaks my heart that he is not enjoying it. Sorry i am sure this is not helping, but wanted to share my thoughts and some of the things that help me.

I don’t dwell too much on the differences with other kids – i really just focus on Matthew and trying to help others who are going through similar things… i guess for me it is easy – i just ask my friends not to complain about little feeding things in front of me, and i ignore the posts that are more about general eating because it hurts to see how people have problems that i *PRAY* we will be dealing with one day… like eating only a couple of jars of food, taking cups etc etc…. things that i know are important but we are SO far away that i just try not to dwell on these.

I am sorry to hear that you are having other problems – on the marital problems, it has to be hard at home. I really don;t know if the tension is caused by Noah or not. And i am sorry to hear about cancer. I see ??? and i am praying that it turns out to be nothing.

I just wanted to post something that makes me cry everytime i read it…. http://www.parent-2-parent.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41575

PLEASE PLEASE if you need to talk, please email me anytime or call me. We all need support and whether you need a shoulder to cry on or just to vent please please please know that i am here.