Infantreflux.org | I'm not strong enough

This topic has 9 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 15 years, 8 months ago by Anonymous.

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January 24, 2009 at 3:54 pm #60535

Anonymous
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to fight another reflux battle!!! I just wanna cry I was really convinced it wasn’t reflux because the only time he is miserable is when he eats. I was thinking dysphagia or something. But he has been on prevacid 7.5mg 3 times a day with thickened Isomil ( 4 tsps rice to 5ozs formula) and he has been better. Today my husband didn’t give the baby his meds and his last bottle was horrible crying, gaging , turning red. SO now I think you ladies were right it’s reflux as well as dysphagia( because he clears his throat when he eats and is raspy after eating) and I’m not sure I have the strength to fight this fight. I don’t wanna go threw this, I want a normal kid who eats normal, I don’t wanna plan my days around meds and eating and I feel ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE that I feel this way!!!! I feel so bad that my poor little man is hurting but I just want him to eat like a normal baby at the same time. Sorry I’m just venting but I seriously feel like crying!

January 24, 2009 at 4:22 pm #60536

Anonymous
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you can do it!!! you have a lot on your side! You have been through this once before and you know all the tricks and have made it through before having to learn as you go. By all means there were MANY times I cried both times, but def. made it through twice with the tremendous support of the women here! I have to say though as I have no experience with the dysphagia, if you get the reflux under control that will make things a lot better.

Don’t ever apologize for venting, this is a safe amazing place to do that and feel validated. This can be so hard and challenging you deserve a place that is an outlet for yourself!

Hang in there!!!!

January 25, 2009 at 8:58 am #60544

Anonymous
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You can do it! Knowledge is power. Hang in there.

January 25, 2009 at 10:03 am #60545

Anonymous
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I remember feeling this way. Just the thought of it makes my stomach flip over. Getting my kids through their reflux was the hardest thing I have ever done, but it is also the thing of which I am most proud. And this is because I really didn’t think I was strong enough, but I was. I remember thinking that the hospital really must have made a mistake. Surely this little screaming, red faced guy couldn’t be mine! And there were many days that I had to fight the urge to just get in the car and drive away. The guilt was also horrible. But, you know what? and this isn’t going to really make you feel better right now, but, looking back, that time was really so short. Once we got Ben on a good medication and removed the offending foods from my diet, life got much better.

You are on the right track with his medication, and that, in itself is a good thing. There will certainly be bad days, but they will be followed by good ones. Try to find joy in the happy moments with your little guy.

You are a great mommy, and that little man already loves you with his whole heart.

January 25, 2009 at 2:00 pm #60546

hellbennt
Keymaster

hang in there! you can fight! we will all help you!

what I tell others, because it worked for me, is to fax the dr.

TELL that you want a swallow study (not Upper GI). this will give you a lot of info and you will know exactly what is happening when he swallows- how muscles are working, if there’s any aspiration going on and also how much exactly to thicken (they use words like ‘honey’ and ‘nectar’ consistancy)…

you’re on the way with the meds…now on to the next: eating.

you can do it!!

January 25, 2009 at 9:29 pm #60553

Anonymous
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you just go right ahead and cry all you want!!!!! i do it on a fairly regular basis and sylvia is 5 years old now. on those days when you think you just can’t find anything positive—-just remind yourself that you haven’t slit your wrists.

i can still remember standing in the aisle at walmart and trying to keep from crying as i read labels when my girls were first diagnosed with celiac disease. i had several meltdowns and wished that it was me instead of them. some months later, when i told a friend that my girls had been diagnosed with celiac, she turned to her husband to tell him what it was and said that is was a “nightmare for mothers.”—–and i remember thinking, ” it’s not THAT bad.” i had really come a long way.

it is amazing, the strength that you can find within yourself, to deal with life and it’s difficulties when you have no other choice—-but sometimes it takes friends, doctors and even medication to be able to do it. you have a bunch of women on here that you know you can lean on—–why do you think i still come here when sylvia is 5 years old and reflux-free since her fundo at almost 10 months old—-it is because the gals on here have been so supportive with all the challenges we have faced—-long after sylvia’s reflux was no longer a problem. even the newer people on here that weren’t around when sylvia was sick have been helpful and supportive—-and the funny thing, is that i am the oldest mom on here, with the most kids, and should be the one with all the answers—–LOL!!LOL!!LOL!!! nothing like kids to make you feel totally inadequate at times.

so…..cry away……..i’ve always been told that it releases chemicals that help you to feel better.

i have a tendency to talk alot about a half hour after i take my meds—-(it lasts for about 1/2 hour) obviously i get just as “chatty” when i type after meds, too.

kevieb2009-01-25 21:31:32

January 26, 2009 at 3:02 pm #60568

Anonymous
Inactive

You can do it. I’m also going through reflux with my 2nd. I looked for all sorts of different reasons why her fussiness was not reflux related, but when all was said and done, I knew it was reflux. My stomach was in knots as I began trying to solve the problem with dietary changes, meds, and positioning.

BUT, my saving grace is DD#1 outgrew it at 15 months. I think of my life in terms of how many months I have until she’s 15 months. It’s sad to think of her babyhood this way, but it gets me through. She’s 3 1/12 months so only 11 1/2 to go before it gets better (hopefully). This one has a milk allergy though so hopefully that will improve – still nervous about that. Anyways, hang in there. We’re here for you.

January 29, 2009 at 7:32 am #60663

Anonymous
Inactive

YOU CAN DO IT MOM! hang in there.

My dd outgrew her reflux at 18 months. We are here for you. HUGE hugs!

January 29, 2009 at 11:27 am #60673

Anonymous
Inactive

Thanks ladies for all your kind words 🙂 I feel somewhat better knowing he is ok well antomy wise. My heart just breaks for him 🙁 cuz he is normally so happy and I know he is in pain. Luckily we got an appointment with the head of peds GI so I have my fingures crossed he’ll have the magic cure 🙂 or atleast some knowledgeable insight.

February 3, 2009 at 10:20 pm #60769

Anonymous
Inactive

wow I am really happy I found you moms, I thought I was alone! Reflux is a nightmare! My hubby and I waited 8 years thought i couldnt have children and now my little girl has suffered with reflux and feeding aversions for her whole 5mths. I cried when I read your previous posts about feeling like I cant do it. Every feed is like a nightmare I fear her vomitting and coming through her nose (curdled) like tonight I fear her screaming and rejecting her bottle, I do feel the thoughts like I just want to run away too but never admitted it out loud to anyone. I bear myself up alot like my neighbour says because she says I am strong to take care of her and be persistant, i feel like a nurse, a nutrionist not a mom sometimes. if that even makes sense. i feel like i cant even enjoy this baby we waited and prayed for , for so many years. kzb1232009-02-03 22:20:34
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