Supply pretty much gone

I understand how you feel. Sarah, my 5 year old daughter, has had seizures since she was 11 months old. The first was a febrile seizure and then she had 3 more seizures, one without fever but with illness when I was 6 months pregant with Hailey. We’ve been down a long road with what we thought were febrile seizures until she had a tonic clonic seizure while we were out having dinner in April- just out of the blue. I know that our circumstances are different, but I just wanted to tell you our story so you’ll understand where I’m coming from when I respond to your feelings.

Sarah’s delivery was difficult. I had no water when they broke my water and her heart rate was low during the delivery leading to a stat emergency call and an immediate vacuum extraction. We were lucky in that she seemed fine afterwards, just small and dry, but fine, and I eventualy managed to put it out of my mind. But after her seizures started, I kept thinking that maybe it was because of the delivery or the vacuum extraction and I kept feeling badly that maybe things would have been different if I had done things differently, gone to a different hospital, had an extra ultrasound, etc.

It’s taken me a long time to realize that I can’t change the past only the future, but also that hindsight always looks better when we’re looking down that path. What I mean is that I’ll never know if things would have been better or worse if not for that rushed vacuum… maybe I was actually lucky to have things happen the way they did. Maybe if I had had her at a different place where they couldn’t or didn’t vacuum her, things would have been worse because they wouldn’t have been able to get her out.

I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. I also have a terrible mistrust of doctors and the medical system, actually moreso from the reflux experience with Hailey than anything else. But know that you did and are doing the best that you can. Your daughter is lucky to have you on her side. I hope that everything turns out well.

HUGS.

For what it’s worth, I also found it hard when my milk dried up. It was like mourning something that I had really wanted but couldn’t have. On the plus side, not having to pump freed up some precious “me” time into my day.

Hang in there.

Thank you for sharing your advice- it really is something to hang on to. I don’t believe that the future is certain for any child, though this something that most parents only come to learn when they have to. The past year has brought many fears for us and what the future will hold. I’ve already accepted that things are what they are and that Sarah is who she is regardless of whatever she may have. But I’ve never thought it as profoundly as you were able to phrase it. I know that I will hold on to your words as a reminder, and I hope that they touch others who need to hear it as well.

You are an amazing person.

What If I Want To [have to] Wean My Baby?
©2000 Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC 136 Ellis Hollow Creek Road Ithaca,
NY 14850

Breastfeeding your baby for even a day is the best baby gift you can
give. Breastfeeding is almost always the best choice for your baby.
If it doesn’t seem like the best choice for you right now, these
guidelines may help.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR JUST A FEW DAYS, he will have received
your colostrum, or early milk. By providing antibodies and the food
his brand-new body expects, nursing gives your baby his first – and
easiest – “immunization” and helps get his digestive system going
smoothly. Breastfeeding is how your baby expects to start, and helps
your own body recover from the birth. Given how very much your baby
stands to gain, and how little you stand to lose, it just makes good
sense to breastfeed for at least a day or two, even if you plan to
bottle-feed after that.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR FOUR TO SIX WEEKS, you will have eased him
through the most critical part of his infancy. Newborns who are not
breastfed are much more likely to get sick or be hospitalized, and
have many more digestive problems than breastfed babies. After 4 to 6
weeks, you’ll probably have worked through any early nursing
concerns, too. Make a serious goal of nursing for a month, call La
Leche League or a certified lactation consultant if you have any
questions, and you’ll be in a better position to decide whether
continued breastfeeding is for you.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 3 OR 4 MONTHS, her digestive system will
have matured a great deal, and she will be much better able to
tolerate the foreign substances in commercial formulas. If there is a
family history of allergies, though, you will greatly reduce her risk
by waiting a few more months before adding anything at all to her
diet of breastmilk. And giving nothing but your milk for the first
four months gives strong protection against ear infections for a
whole year.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 6 MONTHS without adding any other food or
drink, she will be much less likely to suffer an allergic reaction to
formula or other foods later on; the American Academy of Pediatrics
recommends waiting until about 6 months to offer solid foods. Nursing
for at least 6 months helps ensure better health throughout your
baby’s first year of life, reduces your little one’s risk of ear
infections and childhood cancers, and reduces your own risk of breast
cancer. And exclusive, frequent breastfeeding during the first 6
months, if your periods have not returned, provides 98% effective
contraception.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 9 MONTHS, you will have seen him through
the fastest and most important brain and body development of his life
on the food that was designed for him – your milk. Nursing for at
least this long will help ensure better performance all through his
school years. Weaning may be fairly easy at this age… but then, so
is nursing! If you want to avoid weaning this early, be sure you’ve
been available to nurse for comfort as well as just for food.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR A YEAR, you can avoid the expense and
bother of formula. Her one-year-old body can probably handle most of
the table foods your family enjoys. Many of the health benefits this
year of nursing has given your child will last her whole life. She
will have a stronger immune system, for instance, and will be much
less likely to need orthodontia or speech therapy. The American
Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for at least a year, because
it helps ensure normal nutrition and health for your baby.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 18 MONTHS, you will have continued to
provide the nutrition, comfort, and illness protection your baby
expects, at a time when illness is common in formula-fed babies. Your
baby is probably well started on table foods, too. He has had time to
form a solid bond with you – a healthy starting point for his growing
independence. And he is old enough that you and he can work together
on the weaning process, at a pace that he can handle. A former U.S.
Surgeon General said, “it is the lucky baby… that nurses to age
two.”

IF YOUR CHILD WEANS WHEN SHE IS READY, you can feel confident that
you have met your baby’s physical and emotional needs in a very
normal, healthy way. In cultures where there is no pressure to wean,
children tend to nurse for at least two years. The World Health
Organization and UNICEF strongly encourage breastfeeding through
toddlerhood: “Breastmilk is an important source of energy and
protein, and helps to protect against disease during the child’s
second year of life.” It just makes sense to build our children’s
bones from the milk that was designed for them. Your milk provides
antibodies and other protective substances for as long as you
continue nursing, and families of nursing toddlers often find that
their medical bills are lower than their neighbors’ for years to
come. Research indicates that the longer a child nurses, the higher
his intelligence. Mothers who nurse longterm have a still lower risk
of developing breast cancer. Children who were nursed longterm tend
to be very secure, and are less likely to suck their thumbs or carry
a blanket. Nursing can help ease both of you through the tears,
tantrums, and tumbles that come with early childhood, and helps
ensure that any illnesses are milder and easier to deal with. It’s an
all-purpose mothering tool you won’t want to be without! Don’t worry
that your child will nurse forever. All children stop on their own,
no matter what you do, and there are more nursing toddlers around
than you might guess.

WHETHER YOU NURSE FOR A DAY OR FOR SEVERAL YEARS, the decision to
nurse your child is one you need never regret. And whenever weaning
takes place, remember that it is a big step for both of you. If you
choose to wean before your child is ready, be sure to do it
gradually, and with love.