Am I a bad mom?

You are not a bad mom at all. Everything you are doing is becuase you love your little one and you don’t want her to be in pain!

i agree. you need to try to get her a higher dose. please read marci kids.com and go through the dosing.

You are definately not a bad mom. You are doing what is best for your baby because you love her. (We have all felt this way at times, so don’t feel bad- I have had so many experiences know where I have thought something is wrong and people have told me I am overreacting and guess what I WAS RIGHT- so absoultely go with you motherly instincts every time!!!!!).

My Gp- family Dr was the one who acknowledged my difficulties and gave Alana her high dose of zoton/prevacid. Maybe try this avenue.

BTW- there have been plenty of times over the last few months my hubby and I have talked divorce- some days i still think it and I have kicked him out a few times (unfortunately he has never left LOL). Not because we don’t love each other but because of all the extra stress. Reading between the lines, I think a lot of other relationships are put under stress when the little one arrives, even without the arrival of reflux as well.

I have learnt since arriving on this forum, that I am never alone. You will never be alone with such a great forum family. Come for a hug whenever you need it.

You are definitely not a bad mommy. Babies should not fight their bottles. My MIL used to insist that we must be over reacting to Kaelyn’s symptoms because Kaelyn would do really well with her. It was almost as if the change in caregiver or location would distract her enough that she would forget that she was in pain. When I went for my six week post partum check up, my MIL watched Kaelyn and she showed her true colors. After that we never heard another thing about how we must be causing it.

As Sue said, the best thing for our relationship and my dh’s understanding of reflux was him spending time alone with her. When I went back to work, he had her alone all day on Mondays and he quickly developed a whole new appreciation for me and for Kaelyn’s reflux. It definitely helped us.

Another thought, hospitalizing her may not be as bad as it sounds. Our ped admitted Kaelyn when she was 4 weeks old for observation because she was choking on her spit up and turning blue. It was absolutely the best thing that could have happened for her. The ped and ped GI stopped in every day to check on her and upped her dose of zantac every day until she decided that zantac wasn’t working and switched her to prevacid. The nurses were able to document exactly how bad Kaelyn’s situation was and the doctors realized that we weren’t just “first time” parents who were over reacting. So, while it was incredibly scary to have them say they wanted to admit her, it ended up being a really good thing for us.

I have no family nearby either and it’s very lonely. It’s especially difficult during stressful times….like when things were so bad with my reflux babies. Oh, how I wished that my mom or my sisters were nearby to offer support and encouragment.

Anyway, as soon as your little one is feeling better try to make some connections in your community. My life improved so much once I made a few friends here. Especially mommy friends. Some churches have mother’s groups and that’s a great place to meet other mommies.

I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this. I already posted some of my thoughts to your other post. But I know how awful you feel. My husband never understood how difficult it was for me to be responsible for feeding Hailey and to be saturated with this issue all day and night. He got to go off to work and didn’t have to feel the responsibility of what happened with each feed. If your daughter is feeding better with him, then I would say to let him feed her as much as possible when he’s home. If she won’t feed better with him and fights him as well, then he’ll start to realize what the issue was.

We have been dealing with Hailey’s feeding problems since she was a week old. It didn’t become unbearable until 8 weeks old when she started refusing to eat altogether. I ended up feeding her asleep because that was the only way she would take it, and I didn’t want to fight her all the time, though even that was a struggle. Our ped and ped GI said that she might need a tube and our ped once wanted to admit her for hydration. My husband’s family was so angry and unsupportive about this, and made such a big deal about the tube that I got so scared of it and kept sleep feeding her. We are still sleep feeding her to this day and as a result are dealing with a lot of hardships and feeding struggles that are not easy to correct.

I’m not telling you this to scare you. Many people have been able to turn feeding aversions that are just starting around by a high dose of PPI. Others like us have not. But I think it’s definitely a first step because until her pain is controlled she won’t want to eat.

My other comment, and I hope that some moms of tubefeeders will chime in, is not to make the same mistake that I did. I was so scared of the tube that I did everything in my power not to get one, and thankfully Hailey gained and I didn’t have to. But as I said, now we are still under feeding stress and paying the price for that decision.

As I’ve said, I hope that you can turn things around and don’t need a tube. And I’m not saying that the tube is the answer or that it will even come to it, but the most important thing is that your daughter is getting the nutrition she needs, and not as much how she is getting it. I was afraid that if I got a feeding tube for Hailey then we would be dealing with oral aversions and feeding problems for a long time. But I post on other sites, and what I’ve realized is that the kids who have feeding tubes that are the same age as Hailey are doing the same as she is, some better some worse, but mostly the same, and that they have better options for feeding therapy than we do.

An ng tube is temporary if you need it in the end, and a hospital admission sometimes helps to get all the needed testing done quickly without waiting… that’s kind of my silver lining.

I hope that the increased meds will help to turn the feeding issues around. Hang in there and keep fighting for what your daughter needs. HUGS.

Emily,

I”m really sorry that your dh is not being supportive. My dh has used to tell me to quit complaining about it and be thankful it wasn’t fatal. . I was very grateful that it wasn’t fatal and God knows that, but anyone taking care of a screaming infant 24/7 is going to be worn down and stressed out. I think if he had to do it for one day he would have given up and hired someone else to do it. There’s a reason God made women mommies. Not that that excuses our husbands of their insensitivity.

So, anyway, I understand what you’re going through and I really feel for you. Hang in there and come here for support if you’re not getting it at home. And do try to find some support nearby. I made some new mommy friends and though none of them have dealt with reflux they were much more supportive than my dh ever was. Also, if dh is willing let him take care of the baby for a while and you go out and relax. He may have a better perspective on things when you return.